


I Thought It Would Be Better This Way

by kamala_khan_for_president



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Gen, I'm Sorry, Not A Fix-It, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), The Author Regrets Everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-04-28 18:04:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14454810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kamala_khan_for_president/pseuds/kamala_khan_for_president
Summary: SPOILERS: POST INFINITY WARSet after the end of the movie, the Avengers are left with the hard task of letting others know who they lost on the battlefield.





	1. Wanda

**Author's Note:**

> So I saw the movie and now I'm sad. I'm so sorry for this, but I was annyoned that Clint wasn't in the movie and we probably won't see his reaction to what happened to Wanda in Avengers 4 and this kinda happened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce and Natasha tell the Barton family what happened to Wanda

It had been less than a day since half the people on the planet disintegrated into ash and blew away with the wind. Laura had spent half the morning on the phone attempting to get a hold of her parents before she gave up and phoned their next-door neighbour. Ten minutes later, they called back and told Laura the bad news: there had been nothing but two piles of dust sitting in identical neat piles on the sofa, the TV still playing in the background. Clint and Laura had then spent the rest of the day intently watching the news, hoping to find out if their friends had survived.

  
“They haven’t got any footage of the fight,” Laura said for the third time in the last hour. “Do you think that’s a good thing or a bad thing?”

“I don’t know,” Clint sighed dejectedly. He looked at the screen, the news channel currently showing what was happening in New York. “Shit”

“What is it?” Laura asked.

“I saw Hill and Fury’s car,” he explained. “The camera walked past it a second ago. It was empty and abandoned in the middle of the street. They’re both good agents, too good to ditch a car as clumsily as that”

Lila walked into the room just as the footage cut to Chicago. “Mommy, Daddy, what’s going on?”

Laura leapt to her feet and ushered her daughter out of the room. “We don’t know yet sweetie, why don’t you and your brothers go and play outside, okay?”

Lila seemed unsure, but went anyway. She perked up slightly when Cooper kicked the football to her. A small breeze gently shook the long blades of grass in a wave that rustled from the far side of the field.

Laura looked up to see a quinjet touch down on the ground, it’s engines creating the small breeze. The ramp lowered to reveal two figures. “Clint!” she called back into the house. “I think we’re about to find out what happened.

***

“You know, you didn’t have to come,” Natasha said as she watched Bruce shifted slightly in the co-pilot’s seat next to her.

“I know, but I left you and you had to go through everything that happened the last three years without me,” he said. “You don’t need to do this by yourself as well; I’m here for you, no matter what”

“Thanks,” Natasha replied, the faintest ghost of a smile creeping onto her face. “Because this is going to be hard, really hard”

She expertly piloted the quinjet to the ground and killed the engines. She pressed a few buttons and the ramp lowered, allowing the two to step out into the warm sunlight. In the distance, Natasha could see the Barton kids running around outside, innocent laughter filling the air.

Laura was stood on the porch and turned to call Clint, who appeared at the door moments later. Laura lifted her arm and waved slightly, but only Bruce returned the gesture. He looked over to see Natasha had frozen in place, staring hopelessly at the farmhouse.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I don’t know how I’m going to tell them,” she confessed. “Wanda was part of this family, Clint and Laura were like her parents, she saw the kids as her siblings. How am I meant to tell two parents, my best friends, that their daughter isn’t coming home?”

“You don’t have to do it by yourself,” Bruce promised her as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “I told you that you’re not alone in this anymore and I meant it”

 She nodded at him and the two made their way across the field towards the Barton family.

“Auntie Nat!” Lila yelled as she ran across the yard, throwing her arms around the woman’s legs. “You’re okay! Why are you here?”

“I needed to talk to your parents,” Natasha replied. She looked up at Clint and Laura. “I thought it would be better this way”

Laura quickly picked up on her friend's stiff behaviour and peeled her daughter away. “You kids stay here,” she instructed. “We’re going inside”. She shot a look at Clint, who quickly led Natasha and Bruce back inside.

“Mom, is everything okay?” Cooper asked.

Laura waited for Lila and Nate to walk out of earshot before she replied. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think it is”

***

“What happened?” Clint asked. He was sat on one side of the dining room table, Bruce and Natasha on the other, the gentle hum of the TV still playing in the background. Laura walked into the room and sat next to her husband.

“It was Thanos,” Natasha said. “The one Loki was working for in New York. He managed to get all six of the Infinity Stones and he wiped out half of all life in the universe”

“If he got the mind stone, then what happened to Vision?” Laura asked.

“Wanda destroyed the mind stone, and Vision along with it, with her powers,” Bruce explained. “We thought that meant that we might be able to stop him, but he had the time stone already, which meant he was able to undo what had happened to Vision and take the stone anyway”

“Poor Vision,” Laura sighed. “And poor Wanda, having to kill just to watch him be brought back and be killed again. How’s she doing?”

Bruce sucked a breath in sharply and felt Natasha reach for his hand under the table. Clint and Laura didn’t have to be told what happened to understand what happened.

“Please, just tell me she didn’t suffer, that it was painless,” Laura begged as she choked back a sob.

“They just vanished,” Natasha said. “They disintegrated into dust and then they were gone. It was all over so quick we didn’t know what was happening until it was all over”

“Who else?” Laura asked. Next to her, Clint remained as still as a statue.

“Sam, T’Challa, Bucky,” Bruce listed. “There was these other two that Thor showed up with, Groot and Rocket, they were from a team called the Guardians of the Galaxy, and Groot died as well. We got a message from a the Guardians ship. The same thing happened to this guy called Doctor Strange as well as most of the Guardians. Somebody called Nebula survived but the rest didn’t make it. Spider-Man’s gone as well, apparently Tony’s not taking it very well”

“He was close to the kid,” Laura commented. “Clint saw Hill and Fury’s car amongst other abandoned ones on the news. It looked like it had been abandoned, so we think the same thing happened to them too, don’t we? Clint? Clint?”

When her husband didn’t respond, Laura reached over and placed her hand on his shoulder only for him to jerk away suddenly. He wordlessly stood up from the table and walked outside without saying another word.

“I’ll go after him,” Natasha said, already standing up from the table. She rushed outside to where Clint was pacing on the patio. “Are you okay?” she asked, switching to Russian so that the kids wouldn’t realise what they were talking about

Clint froze in his pacing and turned to look at Natasha. “Why the hell would I be okay right now? Tell me Natasha, why would I? She’s dead. She is, was, like a daughter to me. And she’s gone and it’s my fault. I should’ve been there in Wakanda with the rest of you, should’ve done something to protect her. But I wasn’t, I didn’t and now she’s gone”

“Clint, you can’t think like that,” Natasha begged as she took a step towards him. “Thanos had all the infinity stones, there was nothing that any of us could do, please believe me”

“No, I failed her, just like I failed Pietro”

Natasha bit her lip slightly, supressing a sigh. “That wasn’t your fault either Clint, for crying out loud, it has been three years. Even Wanda told you to stop blaming yourself for that, you made your decision and he made his and there was nothing that any of us could do about that. I can’t understand what she meant to you, or what you and Laura are going through right now, but I know how much you both loved her, so if you want to honour your daughter’s memory, you need to stop blaming yourself for what happened to those kids”

“Kids,” Clint spat out. Natasha winced when she realised the error in her words. “Kids, that’s exactly what they were, and they’ll never be anything more than that because both of them got dragged into this crazy superhero world way too young. They were kids, just like the ones playing round front, the ones that I’m going to have to try and explain to that they are never going to see their big sister again!”

By the time he’d finished yelling, the tears were flowing freely down Clint’s face and Natasha was doing no better. Both made no attempt to ignore the fact Bruce and Laura were failing to discretely watch them through the window. The two stood and stared at each other for a moment, a painful silence falling over them as neither knew what to say next.

 A heart-wrenching scream ripped through the silence. Clint and Natasha immediately ran round to the front porch, reaching it at the same time as Bruce and Laura came through the front door. Lila was slumped down by the window, audibly sobbing, the football sitting abandoned next to her.

“What happened?” Laura demanded as she checked her daughter over for injuries.

“I didn’t do anything,” Cooper promised.

“I saw the TV,” Lila cried as she crawled into her mother’s arms.

Bruce looked back through the window. The news was still playing on the abandoned TV, a breaking release about the fate of the Avengers showing. The photos of Bucky, Sam, Wanda, Vision and T’Challa, the only deaths they were able to confirm to the public, were plastered over the screen. “She’s seen what happened to Wanda”

Laura pulled her crying daughter closer and rocked her slightly against her chest. Nate, who didn’t really understand what was happening other than his sister was upset, went over and joined the hug on the porch as Cooper turned to his Dad.

“What happened? Is it Wanda, Dad, is she okay?” he asked desperately.

“You know what happened to some of the other kids at school today before they sent all of you home?" Clint said. Cooper nodded nervously, already anxiously chewing on his nails. “The same thing happened to some of the Avengers, including Wanda”

“No,” Cooper protested, taking a step back from his Dad. “No, you’re lying. She’s fine, she has to be. She can’t be dead, she just can’t”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Clint muttered as he pulled his son closer. Cooper tried to fight him off for a moment, before giving him and allowing him to clutch him close to his chest.

Bruce managed to carefully move around the grieving family to reach Natasha. He reached out to grasp her hand and managed to hide his shock when she pulled him closer to her. Neither said a word as they joined the family in mourning their friend.

***

Natasha quietly closed the door as she closed the door to her room: so much had changed since they’d last been there three years ago.

“How are they?” Bruce asked.

Natasha sighed as she quickly changed into her pyjamas. “Heartbroken, but they’ll pull through this, they have to”. She got into bed and patted the spot next to her. “You coming?”

Bruce, who had already gotten changed into some clothes that weren’t Tony’s, wordlessly joined her. Natasha reached over and turned off the bedside lamp, leaving the room in total darkness. He looped his arms around her and smiled slightly as she shifted so she was facing him, her face pressed up against his chest.

“They’re all asleep, managed to fit all five on Clint and Laura’s bed,” she said with a slight smirk as she described the scene she’d just seen in her best friends’ room. “Thank god they have a king size bed”

“How are you doing?” Bruce asked. “I barely knew the ones that... those that... the people that we lost, but you were a lot closer to them than I was”

“It hurts like hell,” Natasha answered honestly. “It just doesn’t seem real, losing that many at once, but it was real and I hate it. But, coming here and telling Clint and Laura ourselves, it doesn’t feel like it should. I thought it would be better this way, but it’s not”

“It was never going to hurt less by telling them yourself,” Bruce said. “It was only ever going to make it easier on them”

Natasha nodded into his chest as more tears began to spill. Soon, both of them were asleep. In the morning, neither of them would try to deny or fight the fact that they had remained clutching each other like their lives depended on it, or that they had both cried themselves to sleep. They would both just accept and do their best to try and get on with their lives together after the hell they had both just gone through.


	2. Peter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Pepper tell May what happened to Peter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look who's back with a second part that literally nobody asked for.

Tony watched as Peter’s body turned into ash and blew away with the wind. He went to try and grasp at the boy’s body, but there was nothing left. He settled for gripping his own hand close to his face, small pieces of ash clinging to his skin, all that was left of Peter.

Peter Parker. Spider-Man. His ‘intern’. The kid who’d become like a son to him. He was meant to protect him. And he failed.

_If you die, that's on me._

He did die. And it was on him. He failed to stop Thanos from taking the time stone and failed to take the gauntlet and now half the universe was gone. Including his boy. Peter.

Distantly, he heard Nebula try and talk to him.

“Tony,” she said. “We need to go. We need to get to Terra, or Earth, or whatever you call it”

He allowed her to lead him to the Guardians ship and sat in the co-pilot’s seat as they left Titan. The sound of a radio buzzing into life came from Nebula’s direction. She was talking to someone on the other end, Rocket, who’d been at the battle against Thanos’ army.

“One of the other Guardians has died, Groot,” she said. “Me and Rocket are the only ones left”

“Did he say anything about my team?” Tony asked.

Nebula sucked a breath in before she started talking, which Tony knew was nota good sign. “There were quite a few casualties from your team; Vision, Scarlet Witch, Falcon and Black Panther. I’m sorry”

Tony didn’t respond, just wordlessly stared out the window as he watched space hurtle past them as they sped back to Earth.

“Tony?” Nebula asked worriedly when he didn’t respond.

_Mr Stark, I don't feel so good._

“Tony?”

_I don't wanna go._

“TONY!”

***

“TONY!”

Pepper’s yelling broke him away from his thoughts. He looked out the window and saw that they had arrived outside the building Peter lived in, well, at least the one he had lived in.

Pepper looked over at him with worry; she knew it had been bad when he let her drive the car. “Are you sure you don’t want just me to go in? You don’t have to come if you don’t want to”

“Of course I don’t want to,” he snapped. He sighed and sunk further into his seat when he saw the hurt look on her face. “I’m sorry honey, I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that...”

“I understand,” she reassured. “I can’t even imagine how hard this must be for you, losing Peter like that. I know what he meant to you. But we can’t not tell May”

“Then lets get this over and done with,” Tony muttered, more to himself than anyone else. He stepped out of the car and quickly made his way towards the building, Pepper hurrying after him; neither of them wanted to be seen by the paparazzi, not that any were paying attention to celebrities right now, and half of them were dead anyway. The elevator ride to the Parkers’ floor was completely silent. They made their way down the hall towards May’s apartment and knocked on the door, ignoring the piles of ash that nobody seemed to know what to do with.

“Tony!” May greeted excitedly when she opened the door, her voice still full of hope. “Where’s Peter? Is he with you?”

Tony opened his mouth to talk, but no words came out. May quickly realised what was going on and her hands flew up to her mouth in shock.

“Tony, please no,” she begged. “Tony, please tell me he’s okay. Tony please”

_I don't wanna go Mr Stark, please. Please I don't wanna go._

Tony tried to respond to May, but Peter’s words echoed through his brain in the same unrelenting loop they had been on since he first saw the kid’s arms turn into dust. Pepper reached over and pulled May into a one armed hug and led her back into the apartment, leaving Tony stood alone in the doorway. After a few moments, he shook himself slightly and followed the pair. Pepper had sat May down on the sofa in the middle of the living room while she’d gone of the kitchen to get her a glass of water.

“I’m so sorry,” he said as she sank down onto the sofa next to her.

May looked up at him, the tears still spilling from her eyes. “What happened to him?” she asked.

“He just turned into ash,” Tony replied. “I’m so sorry there was nothing I could do. If I could switch places with him and he was back here instead of me, I would do it in a heartbeat”

May nodded. “I know you would. It’s just-”. Her voice faltered as she tried to continue her sentence. “He was all I had left. After his parents, and then Ben, it was just me and him, you know, but now it’s just me”. She choked on a sob and pressed her face into her hands.

Tony reached over and pulled her closely into a hug, the tears beginning to flow freely from his own face as he held May against his chest. Pepper came out of the kitchen and quickly abandoned the glass of water on the coffee table when she saw the crying pair on the sofa. As she came over and sat behind Tony, soothingly rubbing her hand against his back, he did his best to ignore the fact he was holding May the same way he’d held Peter as he died.

_I don't wanna go._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll mark this as done for now, but if I feel like doing another chapter/anyone wants somebody finding out who died in particular, I'll do another. Like I said, if you want to see anything in particular, just let me know.

**Author's Note:**

> To anyone who reads my Life On The Farm series, this fic does NOT fit in with it and anyone that died in Infinity War will be fine in the next chapter of that


End file.
